Happy Halloween! I hope these Halloween Jokes will hopefully tickle your funny bone and keep you giggling all day long! What better way to get your kids smiling in the morning than a cheesy Halloween Joke or two. They would be so much fun written as lunchbox notes as a surprise. So many cute fun ways to get a giggle and a laugh as we head towards Halloween!

Do you know what you are dressing up as this year? I can't wait to hear about it! If you are planning a Halloween Party we put together a huge list of FUN Halloween Games for all ages!

Halloween Jokes

What do goblins and ghosts drink when they're hot and thirsty on Halloween?
Ghoul-aid!

What is a mummies favorite type of music?
Wrap

What's a monster's favorite bean?
A Human Bean

What do ghost say when something is really neat?
Ghoul

Why did the game warden arrest the ghost?
he didn't have a haunting license

Why didn't the skeleton dance at the party?
He had no body to dance with

Where does Count Dracula usually eat his lunch?
At the Casketeria

What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog?
He is mist

Why doesn't Dracula mind the doctor looking at his throat?
Because of the coffin

Why is a ghost such a messy eater?
Because he is always goblin

Why did the vampire go to the orthodontist?
To improve his bite

What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?
Frostbite

Why do witches use brooms to fly on?
Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy

Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
No, they eat the fingers separately

Why don't skeletons ever go out on the town?
Because they don't have anybody to go out with

What did one ghost say to the other ghost?
Do you believe in People?

Why do mummies have trouble keeping friends?
They're so wrapped up in themselves

What type of dogs do vampires like the best?
Bloodhounds

What is a skeleton's favorite musical instrument?
trombone

Why do vampires need mouthwash?
They have bat breath

 

Halloween Jokes for Kids

What do you call a goblin who gets to close to a bonfire?
a toasty ghosty

What tops off a ghost's ice cream sundae?
Whipped scream

What kind of makeup do ghosts wear?
Mas-scare-a

Why did the skeleton cross the road?
To go to the body shop

What happens when 2 vampires meet?
It was love at first bite!

What do you call two spiders that just got married?
Newlywebbed

What did the ghost say to the man at the coffee shop?
Scream or sugar!

Which building does Dracula visit in New York?
The Vampire State Building

What pasta should you eat on Halloween?
Fettuccine Afraid-O

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
He had no guts!

What do ghosts eat for supper?
Spooketi

What kinds of mistakes do spooks make?
Boo Boos

What did the ghost say to the other ghost?
Do you believe in humans?

What kinds of cereal do monsters eat?
Ghost-toasties

What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

Neck-tarines or a blood orange

What is Dracula's favorite cake flavor?

Vein-ella

How does the scarecrow drink his milk?

With a straw

What monster is the best dancer?

The Boogie Man

What do you call a witch's garage

A broom closet

What does a panda ghost eat?

Bam-BOOOOOOO

Funny Halloween Jokes

What pie do ghosts like?
Boo-berry

What is a dinosaur ghost called?
A terror-dactyl

What eye makeup do ghosts us?
Ma-scare-a

Why don't ghosts like the rain?
It dampens their spirits

Did you hear at the Werewolf Halloween party?
It was a howling success!

What's a cheesy Halloween dance?
The Meunster Mash or Monster Mash

What does Frankenstein eat with beans?
Frankenfurters

What kind of hotdogs do monsters like?
Hallo-weiners

What is a bat in a belfy called?
A ding-bat

Who sails a haunted ship?
A skeleton crew

Why can't you arrest ghosts?
It is hard to pin something on them!

What plants do ghosts like?
Bam-boo

Why did the boy go out on Halloween with a clock and a bird?
He was tick-or-tweeting

What sound do crying witches make?
Brew-hoo Brew-Hoo

Why did the ghost go to the hospital?
For an apparition

Who are the werewolves cousins?
The Who, Which, What and When Wolves

On what day do vampires bite you?
Wince-day

What did the teenager witch say to her mother?
Can I have the keys to the broom tonight?

What television show do demons like?
Fiends

How do you compute the circumference of a jack o lantern?
With Pumpkin Pi!

Did you hear about the small, mad vampire?
He was a little batty!

Why did cyclops give up teaching?

He only had one pupil

Where do ghosts go on vacation?

Mali-boo

Corny Halloween Jokes

Why was the ghost arrested?
It didn't have a haunting license

Why did the ghost go into the lift?
To elevate his spirits

Why did the parents of witch twins get confused?
They didn't know which witch was which

What's the best way to talk to a werewolf?
By telephone!

What monster flew his kite into a thunderstorm?
Benjamin Frankenstein

Where does a monster sit at the movies?
Anywhere he wants to!

Is Dracula married?
Nope, he is a bat-chelor

What do you call a witch with poison ivy?
An itchy witch

Why are witches like candles?
They are both wicked to the core

Why do witches ride on broomsticks?
It's faster than walking

What play do monsters like?
Romea and Ghouliette

Why are cemeteries fenced?
People are dying to get in!

What do they serve at a ghost bar?
Spirits!

How does a witch tell time?
With a witch watch

What happens when a baby ghost gets hurt?
They have a Boo-Boo

What game do little ghosts play?
Hide and shriek

What do you get from a frozen vampire?
Frostbite!

What pants do ghosts wear?
Boo jeans!

What music do mummies like?
Wrap Music

Why was the mummy tense?
He was all wound up!

What do you call a ghost's eyeglasses?
Spookticles

What does a vampire teacher give?
Blood tests

Why can't ghosts lie?
Because you can see right through them

What do you call it when a ghost makes a mistake?
A boo boo

Check out these great Halloween articles perfect recipes and fun for Halloween parties and fun at home!

Green Glitter Glue Slime from MomSpark

Green Cocktail for adults from my amazing husband Park Ranger John!

Halloween Pinata from Mom Spark

Our favorite Candy Corn Cocktail recipe!

Super cute and easy Mummy Cake Pops

Now back to the funny Halloween Jokes that could probably be called Halloween Dad Jokes but really anyone can share these punny moments! LOL!

Why did the witches go on strike?
They wanted sweeping reform!

What do you put on a Halloween bagel?
Scream cheese

What do ghosts have for dinner?
Gloul-ash!

What does a skeleton say before eating?
Bone-Appetit!

What position do ghosts play in hockey?
Ghoulie!

Where do ghosts buy food?
At the ghost-ery store!

Why don't skeletons like to go to parties?
They have no body to dance with!

What is a ghost's favorite beach?
Maliboo!

Where does Dracula keep his valuables?
In a Blood Bank!

Why don't witches wear baseball caps?
There's no point to them

What does a witch do in a dark room?
Turn on the light-witch

What does a vampire learn in first grade?
The alpha-bat

What do ghosts wear to get dressed up?
A BOO Tie!

Where do Ghosts go for Vacation?
The Dead Sea!

What newspaper do vampire reads?
The ones with the best circulation!

Why aren't mummies good friends?
Because they are all wrapped up in themselves

How does a goblin make a touchdown?
By getting the ball over the ghoul line!

What kind of rocks do ghosts collect?
Tomb-stones!

How do ghosts wash their hair?
With sham-boo

Why did the ghost go to the astrologer?
To get his horror-scope

What kind of beans do ghouls eat?
Human beans!

What do ghosts like on their sundaes?
Whipped screams!

Why couldn't the witch sing?
She had a frog in her throat!

Who does the monster go to the movies with?
His Ghoul-Friend!

What kind of food would you find on a haunted beach?

A Sand-Witch

How do you mend a Jack-o-Lantern?

With a pumpkin patch

 

Halloween One Liner Jokes

When a vampire kisses you, it's a pain in the neck!

When Dracula fell in love, it was love at first bite!

The Doctor told the sick witch that after resting, she could get up for a spell!

I met twin witches but I couldn't tell which witch was which!

Witches tell time on their Witch Watches

A woman wanted to marry a ghost...I don't know what possessed her!

A gorgeous witch can sweep a man off his feet!

When witches have a race...they use vroom-sticks!

Witches don't live alone..they have broom-mates!

When ghosts go shopping they are...Bargain Haunters!

Did you know a ghost's house has a..scare case between floors!

Halloween Knock Knock Jokes

Knock Knock...
Who's there?
Ivana
Ivana who?
Ivana suck your blood!

Knock, Knock…
Who’s there?
Olive!
Olive who?
Olive Halloween!

Knock, Knock…
Who’s there?
Boo!
Boo who?
Don’t cry… it’s Halloween!

Knock Knock...
Who’s there?
Ice Cream.
Ice cream who?
Ice cream every time I see a ghost!

We hope that these Halloween Jokes and Riddles made you giggle even a little bit! We have been laughing a ton working on this post! Let us know your favorite kid-friendly Halloween Jokes so we can add them!

🎃HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!

We hope you have the best time with tricks and treats, gets lots of Halloween Candy, and celebrate this fun holiday with your family, best friend, and a friendly black cat.

Pack some scare spray, make a skeleton laugh, and join the ghoul scouts! Halloween is here!